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[theshabbiestofmen]

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[theshabbiestofmen]

Because you typically don't do things just out of the goodness of your heart. Is there a girl involved in this? There is, isn't there. You're trying to impress a girl.

[doggedly]

You what! How dare you dismiss me in this way! I'm perfectly capable of doing things out of any goodness of my heart or-- or brain or arm or fingertip or whatever. I can do whatever I like for whatever reason. Really, I dunno why you're acting so disparagingly about my efforts--you, who always encourages goodness and upstandingness at the like!

[Which is a yes, obviously.]

[theshabbiestofmen]

What's her name?

[doggedly]

[He sighs, hugely.]

I'm not allowed to call her by her name, actually. If you absolutely must know.

[theshabbiestofmen]

I won't tell, Sirius.

[doggedly]

No, I mean it. I'm not saying that for some lovelorn secretive reason, I mean it, she says it's poor manners to call her by her name.

Just so you're aware.

[theshabbiestofmen]

And since when have you cared about manners? I wasn't aware you'd suddenly become so polite. She must be a truly remarkable girl.

[doggedly]

Oh, I don't care, I don't give a damn, but she does. And she's interesting, anyway--a lady, but that's with a capitalised L, don't you know.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He frowns. There's many women on the ship, but he can only think of one girl in particular who'd insist on being known as a Lady.]

Surely you don't mean Alayne?

[doggedly]

You didn't call her lady! That's improper, Moony. You will be fined, or-- something, I'm really not certain of what the punishment is. Possibly a scathing and adorable look.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He rubs his hand against his face for a few seconds, looking a bit put out. This is not a gesture unknown to Sirius.]

I cannot imagine this ending well, Sirius.

[doggedly]

[Yes, this is very familiar, this is like Hogwarts all over again. What A Bad Idea This Is Sirius, that's Sirius' name for this particular combination of expression and gesture. It's like an old friend on its own.]

Oh ye of little faith! It ends brilliantly, just as it always does for me--especially when there's girls involved.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Not if they have older brothers involved. You do remember the threats you received over the years, don't you? I certainly do, seeing as how I usually watched as you got them.

[doggedly]

[Wow Remus what a wet blanket. Immediately, a little scowl comes over his face, and he scratches at his nose.]

That's different. She hasn't any actual brothers--just guardians and things. It won't be near as bad. [And a father, though he leaves that unsaid. No need to give Remus extra ammunition, right?]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Guardians with direwolves, I should remind you. Guardians who come from a world where courting girls is still a thing.

[doggedly]

So I'll court her!

[He sits back, quite pleased with himself. Job well done, Sirius!]

[theshabbiestofmen]

You will court her.

[doggedly]

You know, there really isn't any need to sound so shocked. Or for you to look at me like that. I'm perfectly capable!

[theshabbiestofmen]

Capable, yes, inclined, no. When have you ever dated a girl! Dated, not simply strung her along.

[doggedly]

Just because I'm not married!

[Which isn't really answering the question, but he fills it in with a load of scoffing.]

Perhaps this is a test, did you ever think of that! No, 'course you didn't, as you were too busy criticising me to even think of thinking of such a thing.

[theshabbiestofmen]

A test of what!

[doggedly]

Me! My, er, abilities! My strength of will--oh, come off it, she's a girl and I like her, and that ought to be enough, yeah?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Just don't hurt her, Sirius. I don't think she's built to handle it.

[doggedly]

Hurt her! Just who d'you think I am! I'm more than a little insulted, Moony, I don't mind telling you. I'm not out to hurt anyone.

[theshabbiestofmen]

No, but you will anyway, once you're bored of her.