theshabbiestofmen | IC Contact;

Actually, you did. I'd thrown it out, and you grabbed it and proclaimed an object so loved needed a proper burial, and so we had a viking funeral. And then Lily came home and wanted to know what the hell we were doing, burning sweaters in her backyard, and threatened James with a Look, and that was the end of that.

[He laughs, both pleased and surprised by at answer.]

Of course I did--and of course we did, and of course she did! Merlin, it's nice to know that some things are a constant. Did it end up completely burnt?

About halfway. We threw out the other half, as per Lily's crisply expressed instructions.

[He smiles, amused by the memory.]

We were not invited to dinner that night, needless to say.

[He laughs again--proud, yes, and amused, and pleased above all that. The world goes to shit, but there are good things too, things that are just the way that they're meant to be.]

Was James even invited to dinner that night?

I should imagine he didn't get dessert, at the least.

Which sort of dessert are talking about, really--although for James I s'ppose the real dessert would be just as bad as the innuendo. If not worse.

[He wrinkles his nose-- really, Sirius-- before waving a hand.]

I meant the food. She's quite a good cook, you know, it was a burden for all of us.

[YOU CAN'T BE SOMEONE'S BEST MATE IF YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO MAKE INNUENDO AT THEIR EXPENSE. This is what Sirius tries to convey with his grin.]

She's tricking us, surely. She's going to slip poison in one day. Crafty Evans. Or at least she will for my portion, I know her. She doesn't easily forget.

Yes, but it's your own fault she's eternally angry at you, so don't try and get my pity.

You're meant to side with me, y'know. You're my best mate, not hers. What did I ever do that was so terrible to her! Nothing! I even paid her some lovely compliments, d'you remember what I said about her arse in fourth year!

Vividly. Are you aware of what you say and how it's perceived, or does it all sort of tumble out of your mouth?

The tumbling one, mostly. I meant it as a compliment! It isn't my fault she misread me!

Telling someone they have a seriously fit arse is not the way into a girl's heart, Sirius.

I was only being truthful. I overheard you telling James that girls liked honesty so I thought I've give it a go. Turns out she doesn't, but how was I to know!

Not that I presume to lecture you, married man that you are.

I can tell you that any woman wouldn't take too well to you saying such things about them. And that Dora might actually try and hex you if you did.

That isn't even remotely true. I've used it to widespread success. Not always with that particular phrasing, perhaps, but I've still used it. And anyway, I wouldn't compliment her arse, she's your wife. And my relation, eurgh. And a baby!

Edited 2012-06-12 15:08 (UTC)

She's not a baby. I realize the last time you saw her she was, but you have to realize people do age.

Of course I realise it, but she's a baby, it doesn't matter. You married Meda's baby. I could upgrade her to a bit older, if you like, but it won't take away from her being a baby. Sorry, mate.

[He frowns. This really isn't helping his argument, but:]

She's twenty-five, you know.

Twenty-five, yeah, and if Padfoot is a puppy, that makes her--

[A beat. He looks around at Remus, letting a slow horror dawn in his gaze.]

Moony! She was a student!

What?

[A beat. He scowls.]

Not while I was teaching-- oh, really, Sirius!

[But it's too late now, he's quite seized on the idea.]

A student! She was a student! You married a student!

I did not. Would you stop saying it as if I did something scandalous!

I'd stop saying it if it wasn't so scandalous, but that isn't about to happen anytime soon! A student, you old dog you!

[...though now he sounds nearly appreciative.]

I think this might be worse than a baby. Eurgh.

She wasn't-- for the last time, Sirius, I was not teaching while she was a student. There was nothing of that sort of thing going on. We met when she was training as an Auror.

Stop that. Stop being cute.

NEVERRRRRRR

You are the *worst*.

then why do you like me so much

desperation?

wowwwwwwwww

JUST JESTING i love you

no i don't know about this i feel betrayed

BABY YOU'RE MY SUN AND STARS

then don't be so mean, moon of my life!

I'm sorry, dwarf star of my continent

you....r what?

...I-- I ran out comparisons ....

well it was-- inventive, I'll give you that much.

I tried ... listen can I have another chance...

......one more.

Light .. of ... my heart?

......sure! yeah, okay, sure!

YESSSSSSS also WOW that is a hell of an age difference Remus

AGE AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A NUMBER

thirteen years, man, I'm just saying....

seriously, man! A BABY!

Sick.

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You are the worst.