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[theshabbiestofmen]

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[doggedly]

Is this going to turn into a lesson....

[theshabbiestofmen]

It might, if I think you've forgotten everything you learned in third year.

[doggedly]

I haven't! I remember loads about vampires and werewolves and all of it, don't be stupid. I'm only saying, they might not be the same sort that we have.

[theshabbiestofmen]

She's certainly more charismatic than ours. Not as pale, either, though I have to find out if she can go into the sun or not.

[doggedly]

Precisely. Not that we'll see much sun here, I s'ppose, but--precisely all the same. So, more charismatic, more charming--and thus, easy to beat in a drinking contest

Perhaps.

[theshabbiestofmen]

How on earth does that add up to easy to beat in a drinking contest? Surely it's simply a matter of how much each of you can hold.

[doggedly]

Yeah, and everyone knows that girls are shit at drinking contests because they're quite susceptible to being drunk. Body, er, mass. Right? So her advantage is being a vampire but it might not work the same, not here. This is all logic, don't try to argue!

[theshabbiestofmen]

It's twisted logic. I'm not going to stop you from trying, but I'm just saying, you're doomed to fail.

[doggedly]

I'm-- You what! Oh, very nice, very nice indeed! My own best mate hasn't any faith in me!

[theshabbiestofmen]

You're missing my point, Sirius. Anyway, I've seen you pass out from too much drink; how can I have faith after that?

[doggedly]

The only reason you saw me was 'cos you weren't drinking yourself. And that was, what--one time? Or twice, or-- It doesn't matter, anyway! The real point is that if we were placing bets, you would bet against me. Wouldn't you.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Oh, without a doubt. I'd cheer you on, though, if that's any consolation.

[doggedly]

[He gives a wounded sniff.]

Very slight.

[theshabbiestofmen]

You'll survive-- speaking of, try not to give yourself alcohol poisoning, please.

[doggedly]

Is this your way of saying you won't play mediwizard, either?

[theshabbiestofmen]

It's my way of saying I haven't the faintest idea how to treat alcohol poisoning, and I don't want to have to try and learn on the fly.

[doggedly]

Not even for me?

[theshabbiestofmen]

It's more a matter of I don't think I can learn rather than a lack of wanting to for you. I've always been awful at healing.

[doggedly]

[This is a Sad Look.]

But wouldn't you try? For me?

[theshabbiestofmen]

And what would happen should I fail?

[doggedly]

I'd flop around saying arrgh, arrrgh. Which really won't be very much of a difference when compared with what I'd be doing anyway, so!

[theshabbiestofmen]

And then you'd die, you realize. Die of alcohol poisoning, because that's what that means.

[doggedly]

Arrgh, arrrgh means... death.

[theshabbiestofmen]

That's your symbol for death? Argh, argh?

[doggedly]

If you'd like to write up some more famous last words for me, I'd be willing to give them a go, but yes, as it stands now, that is my symbol of dying.