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[theshabbiestofmen]

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ok so sirius will be dying a slow and painful death hope that's okay

[doggedly]

I'm not-- a girl? You're actually calling me-- oh, I'm sorry we can't all be perfectly calm and stoic, Remus, but some of us get a bit upset when we realise that our best mate could show up as a girl! Entirely without warning, just-- suddenly, tits! I'm sorry if that's somehow weird to some of us! I'll try very hard to be more like you.

yeah no that's fine just as long as he doesn't mind Jamie hitting on him

[theshabbiestofmen]

Sirius, he's not even here, let alone as a girl-- and don't be crude about it, please. Now, can you count on one hand how many people have shown up as the wrong gender? Yes, I think you can. So getting hysterical about James appearing as a girl isn't just stupid, it's utterly pointless.

OH MY GOD

[doggedly]

I don't know what they were at home! They might all be the wrong genders, we might be the only ones properly what we're meant to be.

And I am not getting hysterical, I'm just-- concerned.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Do you really think that, Sirius? Really?

[doggedly]

It's a possibility!

[theshabbiestofmen]

Erica? You think Erica was a boy? Or Alayne?

[doggedly]

No! No, I just--

Oh, shut up, Remus.

[theshabbiestofmen]

You're being idiotic.

[doggedly]

I am not! What pissed in your pumpkin juice today?

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He scowls at nothing and doesn't answer for a few seconds.]

You are, in fact. What brought this on, then?

[doggedly]

Oh, very nice. I came to you to ask you questions and this is how you treat me? Something's got you in a shit mood.

Anyway, I was talking to this guy, and he said the thing about the changing genders. Mental.

[theshabbiestofmen]

What guy?

[doggedly]

I dunno! Some guy! He was writing things about people having gone home, and then there at the end he just casually dropped in the bit about different genders, as if it was nothing.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Did you ask him if he used to be a girl?

[doggedly]

No, he wasn't talking about himself--he was talking about someone he knows, who came back as a girl. Anyway, how the hell would I ask him that--oh hullo were you once a girl--

[theshabbiestofmen]

Well, it's not precisely coming out of nowhere, is it?

[doggedly]

You can't just ask someone if they were once a girl, Remus.

[theshabbiestofmen]

You can, actually, it's quite easy. You just say it. I don't know why you can't, it's not as if you haven't asked more invasive questions.

[doggedly]

What are you talking about-- when am I invasive!

[theshabbiestofmen]

You once asked me why I didn't just have it off with some girl at a Quidditch party.

[doggedly]

[A beat of silence.]

And? I mean, we're friends, Remus, that's the sort of things friends ask one another!

[theshabbiestofmen]

It's not the sort of thing you ask me.

[doggedly]

Oh, come off it--why, because you're so mature and above me and all that? I've asked James far worse, of girls he was actually dating--that was nothing. That was a sincere offer of help.

Seriously, Remus, it's like you're from a different country sometimes.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Oh, that's nice!

[doggedly]

Oh, I didn't mean it badly. I love your other country. I love you.