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[theshabbiestofmen]

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[doggedly]

[And at that, he shoves himself up onto his elbows, watching Remus closely.]

What about her?

[theshabbiestofmen]

I'm scared she'll do something rash. Something irresponsible, just because she's jumping at the bit for action. And I sympathize, I do, but . . . I just don't think there's anyone out there.

[doggedly]

But we don't know that. I mean-- you can't blame her for it.

[Though he's still studying Remus closely even as he says that.]

[theshabbiestofmen]

I don't . . . I don't blame her, per se. I just-- I wish she'd think about it more.

[He meets Sirius' eyes.]

And we do know that. Why else would we go to the Jump chamber every month unless we knew it was fatal?

[doggedly]

So it's fatal. But that doesn't mean-- I dunno. That there's only one Jump chamber. What if there's loads of them, or some other way to avoid it--there's loads of possibilities.

[A pause.]

Is she going out there?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Yes. And I'm going with her.

[doggedly]

[Immediately, his face darkens--just a little, but Remus knows him well; he'll be able to recognise it.]

When?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Whenever she wants.

[doggedly]

But she hasn't said yet.

[And then, not even waiting for an answer to that, he goes on:] You don't want to?

[theshabbiestofmen]

I think it's a surefire way for us to get seriously hurt-- but I'm not leaving her to do it on her own.

[doggedly]

Then I'll go as well.

[theshabbiestofmen]

You don't have to. That wasn't what this was about.

[doggedly]

Yeah, well, I'm going to. As if I'd let you go off on your own, don't be stupid.

[He says it all brusquely, but he looks around at Remus with more sharpness straight after that.]

What was it about, if that wasn't it?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Just-- my worries, I suppose. My-- god.

[He purses his lips.]

Does it make me a coward, then, that I don't want her to go?

[doggedly]

[He smiles, thinly, and gives a little shrug.]

Think it makes you her boyfriend, actually.

[theshabbiestofmen]

'S normal, then?

[doggedly]

[He snorts, quietly.]

Well, I haven't spent much time as a boyfriend, mate, but--yeah. I'd say it's normal. If people you care about go marching off to danger, then you get worried over them.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Yes, but-- I don't know. If you said as such, I don't think I'd be half so terrified.

[doggedly]

Yeah, but that's me, innit. If I didn't decide to boldly and stupid go off into the ship at a moment's notice--that's when you ought to worry about me. Otherwise it's just business as usual.

[He shoves his fringe back out of his face with a little sigh.]

Look. She's different than me. We're mates, but she's--y'know. Raven. So that makes you think of her differently. S' not bloody complicated.

[theshabbiestofmen]

For you, maybe. Being a boyfriend is bloody difficult for some of us.

[doggedly]

[He snorts at that.]

'Cos you overthink things, that's why. You always have.

[theshabbiestofmen]

You mean I think about them.

[doggedly]

Overthink. I think about things, I just don't obsess about them to myself--it's all right, it's a part of who you are. We've come to love it about you. But it's true.

Go with her. You ought to.

[theshabbiestofmen]

I don't obsess.

[He mumbles that protest as he rolls over, pushing his face against the pillow. Muffled, then:]

What's that thing you and James always shout? Bury me where the arrow falls?

[doggedly]

[He claps his hands over his heart, with a heavy sigh.]

"Give me my good bow into my hands, and hold me up while I shoot. Where the arrow falls there bury me!"

Only you haven't got an arrow and I doubt you'd be able to do anything with it if you did.