The One Where Remus Got Drunk

[theshabbiestofmen]

[It's been a good night. Home alone, some classical music on the radio, a large and dusty book, and a bottle of red wine to sip at while he reads. Sirius is out doing something-- Auror training, Remus thinks vaguely, but he's not entirely certain-- but the point is, Remus has some time to himself.

He didn't mean to get drunk, not really. It was just hard to resist a second glass of wine after he'd had his first, and then a third after his second-- and the wine tasted so delicious, and he'd been so thirsty-- and then he's peering at the bottom of the bottle with a chuckle, because what even happened to it all!

Ah, but that's a question for another time-- because there's someone at the front door, and Remus knows precisely who it is. And he's so happy his boyfriend is home, happy enough that he stumbles to his feet to go and let him in.]

Comments

[doggedly]

Ooh, is that a promise! Who is going to see--

[But he relents, because drunk Remus is always amusing, and God forbid he disappoint him--that is significantly less amusing. So he twists out of their embrace and gently takes him by the hand, tugging him into the flat proper.]

Which room are we kissing and more in, then, what's your preference.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He relaxes as the door closes behind them. No more worrying, then, and he leans happily (and heavily) against Sirius as he muses that question.]

Theeeee couch! Yeah. There--

[He stumbles forward, sort of half-tripping over his feet, laughing as he does, trying to lead the way.]

I missed you, you know-- a lot-- I hate when you train, it's so boring, I miss you and-- and I get jealous--

[doggedly]

[He keeps careful hold of Remus' hand, but quickly shifts to grip at his arm instead, keeping him steady so he doesn't fall on his face as they cross slowly and stumblingly to the couch.]

Jealous of what, jealous of the training? Don't be-- you know I'd rather be here, having you get me all sore instead--

[theshabbiestofmen]

Jealous of anything that isn't me-- I get jealous a lot, I never tell you--

[He flops across his lap when they finally sit, and beams up at him. Adoringly:]

I love you.

[doggedly]

[He snorts at that--but there's a good warm feeling in his chest at that little confession, stupid though it is. He shouldn't be pleased that Remus gets jealous over him, and yet he is.]

There's not much to be jealous of, you know I'm only interested in-- [Ah, but love, and Remus laying stretched across his lap. He grins and leans down to kiss him, on the forehead.] I love you too. Especially when you're squiffy.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He sighs happily, pleased at that kiss, and reaches up to pat Sirius-- somewhere. His cheek? Or maybe his mouth. It's difficult to say, but it's very definitely fond patting.]

Mmmnot squiffy. Just . . . just a little. Not much.

[And then, in an effort to prove how not drunk he is:]

What-- what did you do today?

[doggedly]

[It's more or less at his mouth, actually, complete with fingers sort of in his mouth--but that's all right, he doesn't mind. He even goes so far as to nip affectionately at those intrusive fingers.]

You are, actually. I know when you're squiffy because you get that smile, the one you've got on right now--

[But, laughing, he relents to the question.]

I did top-secret things and learnt a charm to blow a hole in a concrete wall. What did you do, besides get squiffy for me.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Read. Annnd drank. Annnd read more. And waited and waited and waited for you--

[He sighs heavily and flips over, mushing his face against Sirius' leg.]

What sorts of secret things?

[doggedly]

What a good list. I wish that was my list instead-- well, with the waiting for me bit swapped out with waiting for you.

[He taps Remus' nose, gently, grinning at him.]

And they're secret secret things.

[theshabbiestofmen]

But I'm your boyfriend. You're supposed to tell me things.

[He tilts his head back, trying valiantly to nip at Sirius' finger (whichever the real one is) (he's not sure) (the one on the left?)]

[doggedly]

Yeah, but not secret things. Or, well, not secret things like this.

[He laughs again at that clumsy mouthing--there is no real bite to it, just Remus, sort of vaguely gumming at him--but he allows it as he goes on.]

I'll tell you some other secret if you like.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Ye-es. That's . . . yeah. Do that.

[Although he pouts a little.]

Still. You should . . . you should tell me all secret-y things. All of them.

[doggedly]

Well, I would if I could, but I can't. But I'll make it up to you.

[He cocks his head at Remus, his eyes narrowed a little.]

Want to know how?

[theshabbiestofmen]

How?

[He draws the word out-- howwwwww-- and mumbles it a few times afterwards, liking the way it tastes.]

It's with sex, isn't it?

[doggedly]

[He snorts.]

Well. Don't sound so excited.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Noo, I like sex! I like sex--

[He pats at Sirius' face again, trying to assure him.]

I love it. I really really love it. Please?

[doggedly]

[He suffers that patting, smiling benevolently at the ceiling.]

Please what.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Pleeaaaaase have sex with me. Please.

[He hoists himself up, draping himself over Sirius, nuzzling against his neck with a little growl.]

Please please please--

[doggedly]

[He tips his head back to accommodate that, and he's grinning--and really, he shouldn't, he shouldn't indulge Remus this--it's sort of like taking advantage of him, right? But he's asking--]

Well, let's see. That depends. What d'you want to do?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Anything.

[He kisses at his neck, nipping at him (perhaps a little too hard, but no matter)--]

Anything, anything you want, please-- Sirius, they had you all evening, I-- I want you now--

[doggedly]

[And that does the rest of the job of breaking down his resistance. Sirius leans back, grinning--indulging those little bites, no matter their force--]

Prove it, then.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He pulls back, scowling at Sirius.]

I'm-- I'm in your bloody lap! I'm kissing you! What-- what more do you want?

[doggedly]

Biting at me, actually--but I like it. More enthusiastic kissing, can I request that?

[He leans forward and bumps his nose against Remus' before he kisses him on the mouth, soft and teasing.]

I love you. I missed you too, by the way, I think of you constantly out there--

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He kisses him back a bit indignantly.]

Tell me more about how you think of me. And-- and since I'm drunk, no, you can't request anything, you should be the one doing things--

[doggedly]

No, if you're drunk, it goes both ways. That's the rules. The drunk rules.

[Patiently, he kisses him again, and lingers against it for a moment--and when finally he breaks away, he grins against Remus' mouth.]

Usually it begins when I hear a grammatical error. Then I think oh if only Remus were here. And then I realise I'd want to shut you up if you were here, and I start thinking of all the things I could do to make you shut up--

[Gently, teasing, he brings his hand up to tap a finger against his lower lip.]