The One Where Remus Got Drunk

[theshabbiestofmen]

[It's been a good night. Home alone, some classical music on the radio, a large and dusty book, and a bottle of red wine to sip at while he reads. Sirius is out doing something-- Auror training, Remus thinks vaguely, but he's not entirely certain-- but the point is, Remus has some time to himself.

He didn't mean to get drunk, not really. It was just hard to resist a second glass of wine after he'd had his first, and then a third after his second-- and the wine tasted so delicious, and he'd been so thirsty-- and then he's peering at the bottom of the bottle with a chuckle, because what even happened to it all!

Ah, but that's a question for another time-- because there's someone at the front door, and Remus knows precisely who it is. And he's so happy his boyfriend is home, happy enough that he stumbles to his feet to go and let him in.]

Comments

[doggedly]

[And that does the rest of the job of breaking down his resistance. Sirius leans back, grinning--indulging those little bites, no matter their force--]

Prove it, then.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He pulls back, scowling at Sirius.]

I'm-- I'm in your bloody lap! I'm kissing you! What-- what more do you want?

[doggedly]

Biting at me, actually--but I like it. More enthusiastic kissing, can I request that?

[He leans forward and bumps his nose against Remus' before he kisses him on the mouth, soft and teasing.]

I love you. I missed you too, by the way, I think of you constantly out there--

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He kisses him back a bit indignantly.]

Tell me more about how you think of me. And-- and since I'm drunk, no, you can't request anything, you should be the one doing things--

[doggedly]

No, if you're drunk, it goes both ways. That's the rules. The drunk rules.

[Patiently, he kisses him again, and lingers against it for a moment--and when finally he breaks away, he grins against Remus' mouth.]

Usually it begins when I hear a grammatical error. Then I think oh if only Remus were here. And then I realise I'd want to shut you up if you were here, and I start thinking of all the things I could do to make you shut up--

[Gently, teasing, he brings his hand up to tap a finger against his lower lip.]

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He leans forward, nipping successfully at his finger.]

You like it when I talk about grammar. And everything. You like it when I talk about an-y-thing--

[He leans forward, bumping their noses together fondly.]

How can you shut me up?

[doggedly]

[NOT EVEN GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRUTH OF THAT thanks. instead he grins a little, and leans in to kiss him, to stop messing about with that.]

There's one thing there. Easiest and simplest. The more I kiss you, the less likely you are to correct me in anything, much less talk. Shall I demonstrate?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Mm-- yes.

[He laughs and leans forward, beating Sirius to the chase by kissing him (sloppily, admittedly, with too much force, but still).]

Only-- only you have to admit you like hearing me talk. You have to!

[doggedly]

I don't have to do anything, I think. I might lie, if it suits me. Or I might agree. Or I might say no but actually mean yes--

[He leans forward to kiss Remus again--a much more controlled kiss.]

But I do. I think I like kissing you more, but I do like hearing you.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He laughs drunkenly, a pleased little thing against Sirius' mouth, and leans heavily against him.]

Yeah, you do. And you have to do a lot-- you'd do anything for me-- 'cept tell me secrets, a-- ah-- apparently--

[doggedly]

[He shifts to accommodate that weight--but entirely without complaint, with a happy little sigh. In fact, he works his arms around Remus, tugging him closer still.]

Whatever I tell you, you'll have forgotten by morning.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Noooo--

[He mumbles that protestingly and leans forward, gumming vaguely at his neck.]

'M not that drunk. You don't know. I could . . . I could remember if I wanted.

[doggedly]

You'd only manage--

[But he cuts off then, with a laugh, tipping his head back, as the tickley press of Remus' mouth gets to him.]

What the hell are you doing!

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He pulls back, looking a bit hurt.]

'M kissing you!

[doggedly]

It's just very wet! It's wetter than your usual-- oh, go at it again, come on--

[He twists a little, presenting his neck to Remus once more.]

[theshabbiestofmen]

No, it's too wet.

[He sits back, arms crossed.]

Can't-- can't do it good enough for yo-ouu--

[doggedly]

Oh, come off it--it was surprise, not disgust-- c'mere, I'll kiss you instead--

[He twists so he can wriggle closer to Remus--a bit of a feat, considering the way that they're arranged, but he does his best--]

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He hums happily, unable to contain himself when Sirius is wiggling against him-- but he tries to keep up his affronted air.]

No-- no, it was disgust-- and anyway, if I say no, you should respect that, right?

[A beat. He laughs.]

Cept when I don't want you to.

[doggedly]

I don't think you've ever really seen me properly disgusted, how would you know if it was or if it wasn't--

[He offers this defense as he finally gets close enough to press a triumphant kiss to Remus' throat--purposefully sloppy, giving as good as he got--and then he laughs against the spot, amused by Remus' laugh--]

I think you always want me to. And you'd be hard-pressed to argue otherwise.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Mm. Yeah.

[He sighs and tilts his head back lazily, as much to examine the ceiling as to encourage Sirius.]

Cept when I'm reading. Or . . . or tired. Or sore. Every other time, yeah. Even when I say I don't, I do.

[He pulls back to smile down at Sirius-- a sly and secret smile.]

So don't listen to me when I say I don't. Do? Don't.

[doggedly]

[He kisses him again, with a laugh--and another kiss, as he goes on--and he stops just long enough to return that smile, reaching up to brush a bit of Remus' hair from his face, a fond and tender gesture.]

Don't listen to you. Got it. I love you madly, absolutely madly. Have I said? Will you remember that one in the morning?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Yeah.

[He coos that out, his expression gone soft and melty as he stares over at Sirius.]

I love you too, you know. A lot. A lot. More than I say. But I should say more, because I love you. Annnd I could imagine life without you. I'd probably die, I'd-- I'd probably kill myself if you went away--

[doggedly]

[...woah. That's a sudden-- jarring note in this. He blinks, pulling away a little to stare at Remus. It was just a throw-away remark, right, like saying I will die if you don't feed me that bacon.]

You don't actually mean that, right. I mean--

[He reaches out and traces his fingers against the side of his neck, thoughtfully.]

You're-- I can't imagine being without you either. So it doesn't matter, right.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He tilts his head, humming softly again.]

Course I mean it. But it doesn't matter, because I'm not leaving-- and you won't--

[He leans forward, pushing his face against Sirius' shoulder.]

'Cept I worry when you're-- fighting, or, or, or off taking in Death Eaters--

[doggedly]

[He smiles, slightly, and reaches to push his fingers through Remus' hair, gently, pulling him a little closer.]

Nothing's going to happen to me. You know that, right?