theshabbiestofmen | IC Contact;

Why the hell are you ruining a party?

[He doesn't put down the book.]

'Cos I was asked to. 'Cos it'll be brilliant. Does it matter, are you going to help me or aren't you!

Asked by who? And whose party is it?

Edgeworth! And I dunno whose party, some wanker in a cheap suit--are you going to help me or aren't you! Come on! I need your expertise!

Edgeworth wants us to ruin a party?

Yes, Edgeworth. Are you helping me or aren't you, that's the question I asked, as you might remember. As I just asked it thirty seconds ago.

I want to know why we're destroying someone's party, that sounds very cruel.

You want-- Because he's a tit, Remus! Do we really need a reason? What the hell has happened to your Marauding spirit!

It's tempered by my logical mind.

Put that away a moment and think properly, please. This is not a chance we're often going to get. We must think like men. We must think like Marauders.

Oh, fine. What did you have in mind? Besides boring them to death.

[Finally Remus is thinking properly. Sirius nods, satisfied--thank you--and sits cross-legged, taking up a thinking pose.]

Right. So. Boring is all well and good, we can make things boring. But someone has to fall asleep. And this horrible cheap suit fellow, what if people were actually sick at listening to him talk?

Ooh, that's mean.

[But he says it without any real judgment.]

We could do that quite easily-- though it'd be hard to get the timing down, but we could definitely poison the food or what have you. Hm . . . we could make it so they all fall asleep after being sick-- in waves, I mean, one after another.

D'you think we could? I wanted some effect like that, but then I thought it might be too difficult to time--especially 'cos we'll be working with limited resources.

Not if we did it with something everyone would eat or drink-- we could just get all the drinks, and do it that way. The ones with water will drop off first, then Cola, then wine, and so on. It wouldn't be as neat, but it would be a gradual affect.

[Slowly, he nods, thinking this out.]

We'd have to do a trial. I want this thing going off without a hitch, I don't want half the people vomiting and the other half doing nothing at all.

Who on earth can we trial this on? And how much time do we have?

[well there's always the other werewolves, Remus NO J/J JUST JESTING]

We can find someone. Or else we can just leave cups lying about and watch for people to drink 'em. And he won't commit to a time, actually, that's why I'm going around him and planning in advance.

[How about Nathan, Sirius, how about Nathan.]

Oh, let's do that. It's far fairer that way. Only let's warn-- you know-- some people. Raven and the like.

[He tries to say that as casually as he can.]

[There's only one of him, that's hardly a range of test subjects!]

Oh, yeah, we'd have to. [A beat, and he says, casually:] Raven and the like?

Well, yes. People we-- you know-- don't want poisoned. Edgeworth too. And-- you know. Those sort.

Yeah, all right.

[SIGNIFICANT PAUSE.]

Any other girls, while we're at it? Or only Raven?

[But Remus has never, ever been good at this game. He scowls at Sirius.]

Oh, you can just stop right there, because I am in no mood--

[Wounded, he looks around at Remus, though of course there's still a smile on his face.]

You what! I'm only asking, Remus, only Raven?

Yes, then. Only Raven.

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