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[theshabbiestofmen]

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[action]

[doggedly]

[There's only one of him, that's hardly a range of test subjects!]

Oh, yeah, we'd have to. [A beat, and he says, casually:] Raven and the like?

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Well, yes. People we-- you know-- don't want poisoned. Edgeworth too. And-- you know. Those sort.

[action]

[doggedly]

Yeah, all right.

[SIGNIFICANT PAUSE.]

Any other girls, while we're at it? Or only Raven?

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

[But Remus has never, ever been good at this game. He scowls at Sirius.]

Oh, you can just stop right there, because I am in no mood--

[action]

[doggedly]

[Wounded, he looks around at Remus, though of course there's still a smile on his face.]

You what! I'm only asking, Remus, only Raven?

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Yes, then. Only Raven.

[action]

[doggedly]

Oh, all right. Brilliant. Only Raven.

'Cos she's our friend, right?

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

That's precisely why, Sirius. Can we please get this over with--

[action]

[doggedly]

[TALKING RIGHT OVER HIM YEP]

I'm just saying, she's a friend that's, y'know. A girl.

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

She is, at that. A very good friend, in fact.

[action]

[doggedly]

Right. Yeah.

So-- how good is 'good', then?

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Just-- good.

[His ears and cheeks have gone awfully pink.]

Would you just make fun of me already so we can end this?

[action]

[doggedly]

Who says I'm going to make fun of you? I think it's well done, actually.

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Really. You think it's well done. Really.

[action]

[doggedly]

Yes, obviously. You and a fit girl, I never thought I'd see the day. This is like some proud fatherly feeling, I don't mind telling you.

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Oh, piss off.

[action]

[doggedly]

Oh, very nice. And here I was going to offer my expert advice.

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Oh, right.

[action]

[doggedly]

Oh, come off it, I really do. If you want the advice, I'd give it, you know I would.

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He hesitates-- and then, as indifferently as he can manage:]

Well-- go on, then.

[action]

[doggedly]

Well.

[He sits up a little straighter, as if composing himself, ready to impart this wisdom.]

D'you fancy her, for starters?

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

[Remus hesitates-- but that's stupid, isn't it? It's not as if they're in first year anymore; Sirius isn't going to laugh at him if he says yes.]

Well-- I mean-- yes. Obviously. Or else I wouldn't be here asking for advice.

[action]

[doggedly]

[Sagely, he nods.]

Yes. Of course. Obviously. But the first step in this is admitting that you fancy her. If you were still going to pretend as if you were just friends with her, this would all be for nothing--but! You fancy her.

So then you've got to make that clear. Easy.

[action]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Oh, yes, really quite easy.

[He gives him as dry a look as he can manage-- and considering it's Remus, that's saying quite a bit.]

I'll just walk up to her and say that I fancy her and I'd quite like to go out with her and oh, yes, just forget about that one time I came over and tried to turn her into a werewolf, we'll try kissing again and it'll be fine.

[action]

[doggedly]

[He feels a little twinge--part sympathy, part guilt, part something else--but he manages to give Remus a dry look in return (though slightly less so; he has less experience).]

Edit that slightly, Remus, there's a lad. Would you hold off with the sarcastic comments for two second, please! Two seconds.