theshabbiestofmen | IC Contact;

well now youre just overcompensating

I most certainly am not!

so tell us about this girl of yours then is she a werewolf too do you have dirty werewolf sex with her

Why are you so preoccupied with werewolves having sex!

its more of a general preoccupation, the werewolves are incidental to the conversation no need to flatter yourself

You're the one obsessed with it, not me. Anything else you'd like to know while you're at it?

just to be clear are you offering to answer questions about werewolf sex because id be lying if i said i didnt have a few questions

[He was being sarcastic, honestly, but-- well, Sirius isn't around, and he's bored, and it's not as if Nathan can offend him more, right?]

It's not precisely a foreign concept, you know. Just like human sex.

[ You might be surprised, Remus. ]

do you never do it as a wolf then when youre a wolf have you got lipstick dick do you ever get an uncontrollable urge to hump peoples legs actually heres one do you hump for dominance because isnt that a dog thing?? jesus what about knotting no wait i dont want to know ok i do go on

[OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHAT. Remus is torn between laughing and being horrified, and compromises by laughing and rereading the questions over and over. Eventually, though, he slowly types back:]

1. No, I don't. I'm usually more concerned with hunting.
2. I have no idea.
3. No. That's dogs.
4. THAT'S DOGS. Werewolf.
5. No. Don't be disgusting.

Look, three weeks out of the month, I'm a normal human boy. I have sex normally. There's nothing of the wolf bleeding through.

[ If Nathan weren't busy being bizarrely fascinated by this topic, he'd be impressed that he got legitimate answers at all. ]

how is lipstick dick fair game for a question but knotting isnt im not quite sure i understand your boundaries here anus

Because the very concept of knotting is disgusting, versus [a pause] the former subject is less so. I have no idea, all right.

well youve got me there, well done i can see knotting is a sensitive subject for you you know im always here if you need to talk, and just remember, god gave you that beautiful body to enjoy it and theres no shame in a bit of crazy animal sex so long as its between two consenting parties

Why are you doing this to me?

im being supportive isnt that what friends do my mate once had sex with a gorilla and it was one of her better relationships so all im saying is a bit of experimentation never harmed anyone actually the gorilla died but im fairly sure it was unrelated

There's no way you consider me your friend.

now youre just being cruel!!!!! im so scared and alone in space you cant abandon me

Talk to the Russians, why don't you? You can ask if they have sex differently than us Englishmen.

dont be silly everyone knows how russians have sex

"Everyone knows" things are often wrong. Simply saying.

does that mean youve had sex with russian men you seem to know an awful lot about it

I never said men, did I? You're the one who has them on your mind, not I.

oh did i not say my kidnappers were men i thought you were talking about them but if youve had sex with a russian woman i will eat my own shit

What is it with you and feces?

that is a long and traumatic story thats between me and my therapist thank you

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text; you can thank all those wildlife programs

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2/2 text; still not actually over this js

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text; come on remus get with the program!1

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