theshabbiestofmen | IC Contact;

[ You might be surprised, Remus. ]

do you never do it as a wolf then when youre a wolf have you got lipstick dick do you ever get an uncontrollable urge to hump peoples legs actually heres one do you hump for dominance because isnt that a dog thing?? jesus what about knotting no wait i dont want to know ok i do go on

[OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHAT. Remus is torn between laughing and being horrified, and compromises by laughing and rereading the questions over and over. Eventually, though, he slowly types back:]

1. No, I don't. I'm usually more concerned with hunting.
2. I have no idea.
3. No. That's dogs.
4. THAT'S DOGS. Werewolf.
5. No. Don't be disgusting.

Look, three weeks out of the month, I'm a normal human boy. I have sex normally. There's nothing of the wolf bleeding through.

[ If Nathan weren't busy being bizarrely fascinated by this topic, he'd be impressed that he got legitimate answers at all. ]

how is lipstick dick fair game for a question but knotting isnt im not quite sure i understand your boundaries here anus

Because the very concept of knotting is disgusting, versus [a pause] the former subject is less so. I have no idea, all right.

well youve got me there, well done i can see knotting is a sensitive subject for you you know im always here if you need to talk, and just remember, god gave you that beautiful body to enjoy it and theres no shame in a bit of crazy animal sex so long as its between two consenting parties

Why are you doing this to me?

im being supportive isnt that what friends do my mate once had sex with a gorilla and it was one of her better relationships so all im saying is a bit of experimentation never harmed anyone actually the gorilla died but im fairly sure it was unrelated

There's no way you consider me your friend.

now youre just being cruel!!!!! im so scared and alone in space you cant abandon me

Talk to the Russians, why don't you? You can ask if they have sex differently than us Englishmen.

dont be silly everyone knows how russians have sex

"Everyone knows" things are often wrong. Simply saying.

does that mean youve had sex with russian men you seem to know an awful lot about it

I never said men, did I? You're the one who has them on your mind, not I.

oh did i not say my kidnappers were men i thought you were talking about them but if youve had sex with a russian woman i will eat my own shit

What is it with you and feces?

that is a long and traumatic story thats between me and my therapist thank you

are you seriously a werewolf though and if so are you sure youve never woken up in a zoo

I'm very seriously a werewolf, yes. And no, I haven't. I usually lock myself in a room and pray I don't break out.

can you turn other people into werewolves

That's half the danger, yes.

can you turn me into a werewolf

[He actually switches to video for this-- and okay, this conversation has been annoying, but nothing has actually made him angry. Not really. But now Remus looks pale, his eyes gone dark with anger.]

Tell me. In all your movies and your-- your media, haven't you noticed something about the mythology of werewolves? Of what a curse it is for the characters to have it? It isn't something I give out--

[At all, he should say, but something makes him change his words.]

--easily. It's not for the weak, or the stupid, or the foolish. It's something that-- god, the responsibility alone-- and the fact that you're asking me about it so casually shows me you know nothing about it. All right? So no.

[ Well that was slightly shocking. He'd been pushing for a reaction, hadn't really expected that to be the thing to do it. Either way, it's obvious he's hit a sore spot - be glad he doesn't switch to video, because Remus probably wouldn't appreciate the mix of surprise/trying not to laugh that's plastered all over Nathan's face. ]

alright calm down you couldve just said no so whats your girls name

[ Rudely irreverent, but the fact that he actually changed the subject is as close as he gets to respecting boundaries. ]

[And back to text again.]

If I had just said no, you wouldn't have known what you were asking.

Raven.

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text; you can thank all those wildlife programs

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2/2 text; still not actually over this js

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text; come on remus get with the program!1

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