theshabbiestofmen | IC Contact;

After we- That's next year, Remus. Lily and I've got three years and then it all-

[ He stops, his hands running back into his hair, messing it up just for something to do. Something to keep him occupied from the two extremes of reactions he's deciding on. One being anger, the other being fear. Fear of dying, fear of this being the future. ]

Because I'm as good as dead. Because our lives go to shit because I die. When were you going to tell me? Were you going to tell me? If I hadn't run into- Merlin.

[ i don't want to die. ]

No, you know what. [ he pulls his hands from his hair, suddenly struck with the urge to move. To get out. If his hands are shaking, it'd probably be in Remus' best interest not to mention it. ] Thank you, for telling me. Needed to learn at some point. Now I know.

Sorry to bother you, mate. You can go back to your reading, or studying, or whatever it was you were doing. [ James is just going to...head for the door. ]

James, don't, please don't--

[He jumps up, grabbing his arm.]

I'm sorry, all right, I'm sorry, but don't leave, please don't, I can't lose you too--

It's not your ruddy fault, Remus, stop apologizing!

[ He realizes a second too late that he might have yelled that, and stops. Doesn't pull his arm away from him. ]

You're not going to lose me. Not yet. [ and saying yet makes him feel sick, knowing what happens now. He's losing steam, quickly. ] I just... I don't know.

[He shakes his head weakly, almost helplessly.]

Stay. Please stay.

[ There's a moment where he has to think about it, really think about it, before he sighs. As much as he doesn't want to be here, doesn't want to be anywhere, he can't...he can't leave him like this. ]

Damn it, Moony. [ it's a quick movement, but James just sort of turns back to his friend, grabs him by the shoulders, and pulls him in for a hug. ] Okay. I'll stay.

[Remus is never one for hugs, but now he holds James tightly, burying his face in his shoulder.]

[ None of the Marauders really seem to be one for hugs, except for James. James Potter is a hugger, and he learned very early on to just go for them - usually when it seemed like his friends wanted them the least.

Plus, maybe, he needs it a little, closing his eyes and holding on just as tightly. ]

'M sorry.

[He mumbles that again and doesn't let go.]

For . . . for keeping it from you.

It's-

[ But it's not fine, not really, and James just kind of tightens his hold. ]

I can understand why you did it, but you don't have to keep things from me. I can handle just as much as you and Sirius, and whatever made you think I'd be better off not knowing... It's mental. You don't have to protect me from anything. Okay?

I know.

[He pulls back, but just far enough to see his face.]

You have to understand-- we weren't doing it because we thought you were weak, or couldn't handle it. We didn't tell you because we just-- we wanted things to be normal for all of us, for just a while.

Normal? On a spaceship. With crazy monsters and time turning abilities. Yeah, definitely what'd I call normal.

[ have a look, Remus, because that's hilarious. ]

[He risks half a smile.]

Well. My mother always used to say that she never trusted anything was normal after she found out magic was real. I've rather taken that route when it comes to this ship.

[ And he will get a half smile in return. ]

You know, I never much liked normal.

Well, good, then.

[Finally he pulls back, wiping at his cheeks distractedly.]

Ah-- are we . . . I mean-- are we all right, then?

[ He can't help but sigh a little, still a little shaken up himself. ]

Course we're all right.

[ A pause, and then: ]

Thanks for telling me. I know it wasn't-- [ He pauses, before shrugging. ] Just, thanks.

IC Contact;

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BECAUSE IT'S GAY JAMES

YOU SAY, TO THE STRAIGHTEST ONE OUT OF THE LOT

LOOK I'M JUST SAYING

WHATEVS, MAN. HE'S COMFORTABLE WITH HIS SEXUALITY

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