theshabbiestofmen | IC Contact;

[ tiiiiiny bit desperate here; ] No, c'mon, please talk to me- Remus, I'm sorry.

[Another long pause-- but all right, fine, voice.]

As am I.

You didn't do anything wrong. You were... nicer than you should have been, even, which makes this even worse because I was awful and I didn't even mean the things I said, I really didn't. It was like.. all I wanted to do was say the thing I knew would hurt the most, just to try and get the upper-hand. I couldn't even control myself, that's all I could think about. And that's- [ huffs ] None of it was true, please believe that.

[And the trouble is, he wants to believe it, so badly that it hurts. He wants things to go back to the way they were, easy and simple and slow.]

How-- god, Raven, how the hell could you not have meant that? Animalistic, you said, and you were right, because I bloody well bit you the first time I kissed you.

What I didn't mean was calling that animalistic side of you a curse. The- The idea of you transforming like that scares me, but only in thinking about the kind of pain you go through, not what it actually means. I'm not sure how to explain it now. [ she pulls the comm away from her face a little, just so it's not so obvious she's getting frustrated with herself ] You bit me because you were wearing your mask, which now I know even better than before isn't really you. Yeah, there's some part of you that wants to do that, there is an animalistic side to you. But it doesn't control you. That's why I think it's so special, why you're ..special. [ there's a quiet ugh on her end, why is she being so lame right now? ] That was dumb. But do you see what I mean? The difference?

[A beat. Quietly:]

I do.

[A pause.]

Are you afraid of me? At all? And don't lie, don't . . . are you? Because I'm not special, Raven, not like you or Charles or Erik. I'm cursed, and there's a world of difference.

No! Nonono. [ she jumps on it a little too quickly, she realizes so; ] Honest. [ there's a little hn of protest before she says anything else ] If you weren't special, if you really weren't, well, kinda brilliant? You wouldn't be who you are now, you'd be like who you were with that mask on. You'd give into that darker side of it. But you don't, and I know you never will, and so I'm not afraid of you. And if that part of you starts to show even a little bit in any sort of way I'm uncomfortable with, I know I can just.. tell you. We can talk about it. And you can talk to me if I ever do anything that freaks you out too, you know? That's part of what I like about, um, us. [ a beat ] I'm so sorry I gave you any reason to even ask me that, though. Really, that's- that's the last thing I want.

[He mulls on those words for a few seconds, trying to acertain if they're the truth, if Raven really means that. Finally:]

Come over?

Yeah. Of course, yes. [ kinda scrambling, although really ( creepily ) she was spending her mask detox time in Wesley's old room, on the fifth floor, possibly because it's closer to Remus' than her own down on the first. HEH? ] Five minutes. [ r u n n i n g down the hall excuse her pardon here, places to be-!

three and a half minutes later: knockknockknockknockknock. ]

[He answers immediately, sliding open the door and staring at her. He doesn't allow her in, but nor is he barring her way; he's just sort of standing there, looking at her uncertainly, holding his breath.]

[ it's the way he's looking at her that rocks her, like a solid shove in the chest, because she knows.. exactly how that feels. she remembers looking at him the same way after he took off his mask, like she was too nervous to trust that just a few days with it off really helped at all. and yeah, her nerves still feel like they're too sharp, on edge, but not in a way that'll set her off easily. just making her aware of how bad she was before. ]

It's okay. [ ehh ] It's been a week. [ but more importantly- ] I miss you. [ yeah, it's only been a week ]

Yeah. Me . . . me too.

[A pause. He meets her eyes.]

What do you want to do?

-- Can I kiss you?

Hug, maybe, first.

[ THE MOST EMBARRASSED SIGH ]

Start over.

Can I come in?

Yeah.

[He takes a step back, letting her in.]

Come here.

[And when she steps in, he slips forward, catching her in a hard kiss.]

[ hup.

there's a muffled hum of surprise, and she dips back a little bit just from the force of the kiss, but she's quick to catch herself, her arm reaching up to circle around his neck while her other hand grips onto the front of his jumpsuit. ]

M'so- sorry-

Shh--

[He leans in, renewing their hiss hungrily, trying to forget everything but it, trying to bury himself in it--]

Remus. [ it's not a protest, but it is a question, in a way, questioning because maybe he's earned this pent up energy, but it doesn't seem like- well. hm. she won't ask, not outright. not when she's enjoying the chance to kiss him like this again. she should ask, take a time out, but she's not a saint. so she takes a few step forward, eases him backwards without tripping over his feet. the serum might have ruined her shifting, but her balance, her strength, it's all back to where it was at home, more controlled. which is why, once she feels her knee hit the bed, it's easy to just fall back onto it without ..wiping out completely, still holding onto him, letting him settle on top of her however he wants ]

Shh--

[He climbs over her as they slip onto the bed, his hand raking up her sides, pushing through her hair, feeling as much of her as he possibly can. And of course they have to breathe, to speak, but that doesn't mean it can't be sexy things--]

I missed you so much--

[ mmhmm, it's just a hum pressed against his mouth as she kisses him again, not exactly ready on giving breathing a chance just yet. she's still just gripping at his suit, in his hair, like she can't pull him close enough, like she can't decide on the best way to hold on. she kisses him like she can use it to prove everything she can't put into words, how sorry she is, how much she missed him, how much she cares. she breaks to breathe, but moves her kisses along his cheek, his jaw, instead of stopping there, rushrushrush ]

I'll never wear it again, I swear. I promise. It's not worth it-

[He sort of wants to talk about it, to pull away and have a rational discussion-- and they should, but not yet, not yet, not until he's not feeling nearly as frantic.]

I love you--

[He mumbles that out without thinking, his hand already going to her jumpsuit zipper, tugging it open-- I love you, I missed you, I need you, all scrambled up in his mind--]

-- Yeah?

[ ... that's not the right response, is it? she pulls back, let's her head hit the sheets and her fingers slip from his hair. it'd be sexier, probably, to continue the rush, but it's difficult to think that way when her heart is twisting up in her chest. as dramatic as it is to recall, nobody but Charles has ever said that to her. well, Sirius did. but. that's just the same as hearing it from her brother, really, so the point- the point is that she knows it's different here and it makes her feel different and she has to look at him for a second, properly, catch his eyes with hers. ]

I love you, too.

[And even though he wants to rush, even though he can barely believe that he, Remus Lupin, just said those words-- when Raven pulls back, he does too, panting down at her. He stares for a few seconds before smiling softly. One hand reaches up, pushing carefully through her hair.]

I do. I mean-- I really do. I'm not just saying it.

[Just so she knows. Remus leans down, catching her in a far softer kiss.]

I know. I know. [ and she laughs, cause that's the best part of it, right? she can tell he means it, and it's perfect because she means it, truly, and that's something in and of itself to be happy about. it's not like she didn't know she had feelings for him, it's been very obvious for a while now, but actually saying it and feeling it so strongly is kind of-out-of-this-world fantastic. she kisses him back with a smile on her face, arms wrapping around his neck again just so she can nuzzle his face playfully and he can't get away. ]

Raven--

[He laughs against her mouth and shakes his head, nuzzling against her, kissing her happily.]

I want to kiss you, you can't keep snuggling me, we have to keep up a mood--

I will- absolutely oblige that mood, in just one- second-

[ because right now she's too thankful and grateful and excited and overwhelmed by the fact that just a few hours ago she didn't know if Remus would even talk to her after what happened, but then here they are and she needs to get the giddy energy out of her system before they continue anything else. ]

Why don't you tell me more about this mood first, love, so I know how to set it up just right. [ love. Charles calls people 'love'. it's a British thing, she knows, but it's kind of something she's maybe always wanted to call someone, so she's trying it out. she's also kissing down Remus' neck now ] Does it explain- why my jumpsuit's unzipped? And will- it include a reason for me to unzip- yours too?

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