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[theshabbiestofmen]

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[doggedly]

Me.

And yo-ou don't know the answer, so why don't you run off and snog your girlfriend.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Not until you tell me why you need to know about poison-- that's creepy, Sirius, even for you!

[doggedly]

What's creepy about it? I asked a question, I didn't say, ooh, Remus, I'm going to poison a man, tell me how-- really, would I be that stupid, if I were planning to poison someone. Really.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Sirius, please just tell me so we can stop this. I hate talking in circles, you know that.

[doggedly]

There's nothing to tell! I told you all of it-- look, so it's not for a crossword, I was only wondering. Talking poisons and I started thinking about it, 'cos I'm sure I've heard of something, or maybe I'm thinking of, wossname. Romeo and Juliet. They went to sleep, right?

[theshabbiestofmen]

That wasn't real. And you said it was for a puzzle-- Sirius, what are you up to?

[doggedly]

[Finally, he raises his eyes to Remus and delicately lifts his eyebrows.]

Why do I have to be up to anything?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Because why else would you be looking this up?

[doggedly]

Because, as I told you, I was talking about poisons with someone and the question came up so then I was curious.

It's not a crime, Lupin. Seriously. You're looking at me like you're going to give me a detention.

[theshabbiestofmen]

I ought to-- Sirius, promise me you're not going to do anything.

[doggedly]

Ought to what, give me detention?

[COME OFF IT LUPIN that's what this smirk means. Remus can't even give him detention when he's actually in a position of small power, let alone now. He turns back to the screen, still smirking slightly.]

Anyway, I promise.

[theshabbiestofmen]

You swear?

[doggedly]

Seriously, Moony? Would you put up with this sort of thing if I came in and harangued you while you were doing research?

[theshabbiestofmen]

I don't research poison, nor am I known for being somewhat cruel in my pranks.

[doggedly]

Not true, you have definitely researched poisons. Potions essays.

[theshabbiestofmen]

That's entirely different and you know it!

[doggedly]

Maybe so, but it does mean you aren't allowed to say that you've never researched poisons. So I think you have to stop harassing me now.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He gives a little groan and doesn't move at all.]

Did you find the answer, at least?

[doggedly]

[He wiggles his fingers dismissively at the screen, as he sits back with a sigh.]

Carbon wossname, from cars. That one puts you to sleep. D'you think they've got any in space?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Monoxide-- why do you need it!

[doggedly]

[He has the grace to look a bit put out at that.]

I didn't say I needed it, I said do you think they have got any in space. You're hearing what you want to hear, Lupin, which is the worst case scenario. As usual.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He huffs a sigh, both wearied and irritated.]

There's no need to be nasty, you know. And no, I don't think they have any in space, truth be told.

[doggedly]

[Damn. He scowls, and rubs irritably at his nose.]

Well, what would you call what you're doing, if not that?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Worrying.

[A beat.]

Look, I'm sorry, all right. I don't think you'd do anything lethal, but-- that sort of thing can be horribly dangerous.

[doggedly]

And, what, I'm too stupid to realise that? Thank you, Mumsy--anything else to add?