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[theshabbiestofmen]

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[theshabbiestofmen]

He's also been through a war. A bad one, from all indications.

[doggedly]

yeah i suppose

i dont know remus i always reckoned on someone from our time coming
i never thought about
i mean thats stupid i know but i didnt think about it

[theshabbiestofmen]

Nor did I. Which is stupid; Merlin is here, clearly people from the past or future can come-- but I never expected someone from our future. So intimately connected.

[A pause.]

I thought he was James at first.

[doggedly]

[At that, he laughs, bitterly--and there's a pause in return before he answers.]

i did too
stupid isnt it
he looks precisely like him except you know his eyes
merlin but this is mental

[Another little pause, and he adds:] i wonder if james will show up

[theshabbiestofmen]

I don't know if I want him to. I don't want to have to tell him about any of this.

[doggedly]

not even if it means seeing him again
i mean what if this is it remus
what if we dont go back at all

[theshabbiestofmen]

[And then suddenly there's Remus' voice, fierce:]

That's not going to happen!

[doggedly]

[He pauses a moment before answering, but then switches over as well--tired, worn out.]

But if it does.

[theshabbiestofmen]

It won't. Plenty of people have gone back! There's no reason why we shouldn't!

[doggedly]

But not gone back to say. Remus, listen to me, would you. If there can be alternate timelines--if our decision to change things with, with Harry, with all of it--to stop James from dying-- well, what the hell stops this from being some alternate bloody timeline?

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He listens, yes-- and he knows the logic of what Sirius is saying, of what he means, and of course it's possible--

--but there's a panicked little knot in the pit of his stomach that refuses to consider even briefly what Sirius is saying.]

Because I refuse to let it. I'm not going to-- we're not living here. None of us. All right? We're going to damn well find a way off here.

[doggedly]

[It helps, to hear Remus so convinced of this. It helps to hear anyone so convinced, because at his worst, Sirius can come to doubt their eventual escape--because it seems so untrue, because they've been here for so long without any end in sight.

There's a moment of silence, and then he laughs, grimly.]

Swear?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Swear.

[He says that too firmly, too sharply-- and perhaps Sirius can see through that, but perhaps he can't.]

I won't let that happen. Nor will Lily-- o you.

[doggedly]

[Perhaps he can. But if they both convince one another of the truth of it--if they can each bolster the other--then perhaps it will come true. Perhaps it will be all right.

So he sucks in a breath, a little shaky--though he tries to disguise that.]

All right.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Don't lose hope. All right? We'll get out of this.

[doggedly]

I know. Yeah. I know.

[And he does, he can convince himself of that. He can use what Remus has said and it will be enough. There's a brief silence, and then he breathes out, heavily.]

Thanks.