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[theshabbiestofmen]

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[doggedly]

its just a riddle i guess
anyway if you dont know the answer i will seek answers elsewhere
perhaps in your beloved library
ta lupin

[theshabbiestofmen]

[Yeah okay but NO. He heads right to the library, a big old prefect frown on his face.]

[doggedly]

[P! P for Poisons! Books are spectacularly dusty and unhelpful, and so thank God this isn't a real library or else Sirius would have to spend about ten minutes sneezing miserably. He doesn't have allergies. If he did, perhaps he'd list slightly toward the side of dust allergies but he doesn't have allergies.

Fortunately this is a library of slim weird technologies and holly grahams and computars and things. So he's happily researching his poisons when he hears the door open--]

No thank you, little girl, we don't need any cookies today! My boyfriend is on a diet, he is, no chocolates even--

[He doesn't even look up from what he's doing because he recognises Remus' stride, and the sound of his footsteps and things. That's the sort of thing that happens when you spend nearly every day for six years with a man.]

[theshabbiestofmen]

We're not boyfriends, and don't ever refuse chocolate, and why are you looking up poison!

[doggedly]

I told you, little girl, it's a puzzle.

[And he starts whistling as he flicks idly through whatever it is that he's reading, still not looking directly at Remus.]

[theshabbiestofmen]

A puzzle for whom?

[doggedly]

Me.

And yo-ou don't know the answer, so why don't you run off and snog your girlfriend.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Not until you tell me why you need to know about poison-- that's creepy, Sirius, even for you!

[doggedly]

What's creepy about it? I asked a question, I didn't say, ooh, Remus, I'm going to poison a man, tell me how-- really, would I be that stupid, if I were planning to poison someone. Really.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Sirius, please just tell me so we can stop this. I hate talking in circles, you know that.

[doggedly]

There's nothing to tell! I told you all of it-- look, so it's not for a crossword, I was only wondering. Talking poisons and I started thinking about it, 'cos I'm sure I've heard of something, or maybe I'm thinking of, wossname. Romeo and Juliet. They went to sleep, right?

[theshabbiestofmen]

That wasn't real. And you said it was for a puzzle-- Sirius, what are you up to?

[doggedly]

[Finally, he raises his eyes to Remus and delicately lifts his eyebrows.]

Why do I have to be up to anything?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Because why else would you be looking this up?

[doggedly]

Because, as I told you, I was talking about poisons with someone and the question came up so then I was curious.

It's not a crime, Lupin. Seriously. You're looking at me like you're going to give me a detention.

[theshabbiestofmen]

I ought to-- Sirius, promise me you're not going to do anything.

[doggedly]

Ought to what, give me detention?

[COME OFF IT LUPIN that's what this smirk means. Remus can't even give him detention when he's actually in a position of small power, let alone now. He turns back to the screen, still smirking slightly.]

Anyway, I promise.

[theshabbiestofmen]

You swear?

[doggedly]

Seriously, Moony? Would you put up with this sort of thing if I came in and harangued you while you were doing research?

[theshabbiestofmen]

I don't research poison, nor am I known for being somewhat cruel in my pranks.

[doggedly]

Not true, you have definitely researched poisons. Potions essays.

[theshabbiestofmen]

That's entirely different and you know it!

[doggedly]

Maybe so, but it does mean you aren't allowed to say that you've never researched poisons. So I think you have to stop harassing me now.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[He gives a little groan and doesn't move at all.]

Did you find the answer, at least?

[doggedly]

[He wiggles his fingers dismissively at the screen, as he sits back with a sigh.]

Carbon wossname, from cars. That one puts you to sleep. D'you think they've got any in space?