[He nods-- it's stupid to blame himself, but he still feels guilt, you weren't there, when they'd all sworn to each other that they'd be there during the war, during each battle--]
[ he shakes his head, not wanting to think much about it and not wanting to relay the information to remus either. not knowing how he'll react-
but keeping things from his best friends? not something james likes to do. ]
They uh- used vines. Held my legs and arms, and I had my face covered so I couldn't really see what happened. [ he dropped his hand from remus' neck, shrugging. ] What killed me was the vine down my throat, choked me to death.
Nothing to be sorry for, mate. It happened, I'm here. [ he squeezes remus' arm where he's still holding him. ] It doesn't matter. Besides. [ he gives him a small smile. ] I look pretty fantastic for a dead man, right?
[ so the laugh is damp and maybe a little forced but at least it was there. ]
Even the gods couldn't let go of me. Who knew I was that irresistible? Actually no, don't answer that. [ but now the smile's a full-out grin. ] Nice little cheat to know about, though. Changes up the game a bit.
[ he smiles, reaching out to grab remus' shoulder again. ]
None of us are going to let it happen to anyone. Not you, Harry, Lily, or me. Alright? [ his eyebrows shift up, in question. ] It's not gonna happen to anyone.
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[He reaches forward, gripping his arm tightly.]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry you-- you had to go through that, that I wasn't there to stop it--
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[ james grips remus' arm back, using his other to wrap around the back of remus' neck. ]
Remus, no. Don't you dare start with this blaming- you weren't here. You had no idea what was happening.
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How bad was it?
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but keeping things from his best friends? not something james likes to do. ]
They uh- used vines. Held my legs and arms, and I had my face covered so I couldn't really see what happened. [ he dropped his hand from remus' neck, shrugging. ] What killed me was the vine down my throat, choked me to death.
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I'm sorry.
[It's not an apology, just-- god. Of all people to have to experience that, Remus can think of few who deserve it less than James Potter.]
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Nothing to be sorry for, mate. It happened, I'm here. [ he squeezes remus' arm where he's still holding him. ] It doesn't matter. Besides. [ he gives him a small smile. ] I look pretty fantastic for a dead man, right?
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Don't joke like that. God, James, I-- god. Thank god this place resurrects people, that's all I can say.
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Even the gods couldn't let go of me. Who knew I was that irresistible? Actually no, don't answer that. [ but now the smile's a full-out grin. ] Nice little cheat to know about, though. Changes up the game a bit.
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[He gives him a soft smile.]
Bloody hell. No wonder Lily exploded.
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but then he loses a little steam, his shoulders slouching a bit. ]
Yeah, Lils- I mean. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to find that. Not even sure if she's gotten over it, yet.
[ which is ten hundreds levels of hypocritical, coming from mr. can't sleep through the night because of ptsd nightmares ]
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[He takes a breath, trying to steady himself. More firmly:]
Between Harry and I, we won't let it happen again.
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None of us are going to let it happen to anyone. Not you, Harry, Lily, or me. Alright? [ his eyebrows shift up, in question. ] It's not gonna happen to anyone.